Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Things that looked good on paper

Once in a while we will be hit with a flash of brilliance. In that perfect moment one can see what should be done, everything required to do it and how it will make everything better. It is somewhere in between the idea and the implementation that things can go horribly horribly wrong.


General Motors immediately sprung to mid when I started thinking about this. There is something about this company that allows it to repeatedly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My suspicion is that the accountants trump the designers. There are always small concessions that you can make to price that the average consumer will never noticeably impact the client. GM has a tendency to pass that point.

1962 Chevy Corvair
Image borrowed from: http://www.caranddriver.com/features/09q4/david_e._davis_jr._convincing_chevy_to_enter_a_team_of_corvairs_in_the_1961_shell_4000_trans-canada_rally-column/gallery/1962_chevrolet_corvair_700_series_coupe_photo_17


The Chevy Corvair is a classic example of a good idea gone bad. Most North American cars were front engine / rear wheel drive. Rear engine / rear wheel drive was something that you found in Porches and VWs. This set up saved materials and space. It also put the weight of the engine over the drive wheels. It gave the Corvair a nice look. It had a huge trunk and good passenger space.

It all fell apart with the rear suspension. Instead of using the design of the sporty Porsche, they borrowed the suspension design from the VW Bug. Keep in mind that the VW Bug had less than 60 hp while the Corvair was 80 hp and marketed as a sports car. By the time they upgraded the suspension on the Corvair the reputation was shot. The promotion and production of the car slowly petered out. It made GM a company that is still very risk averse.


You can almost smell the hair mousse and parachute pants



The Fiero should have been a slam dunk for GM. The marketing concept was reminiscent of the original Mustang, a good looking sporty car that somebody with their first job could afford. They borrowed he design from the Fiat X1/9 that had been in production since 1972. Once they had the idea they ran through the GM parts bin to save even more costs. This car should have been a slam dunk. Toyota stole the same 12 year old design at the same time. The Toyota was produced for 23 years. The Fiero was produced for 5, which is about the shortest amount of time a major manufacturer can kill a model. It took them four years to kill the much reviled Pontiac Aztek (which I will discuss later).


Fiat X 1/9, where they stole the designs from



Toyota MR2, their version of the same idea


It seems you need three major screw ups:

First, GM’s marketing department was not promoting the vehicle that the assembly line was producing. The original Fiero was designed as a sporty and fun everyday car. The marketing department was selling a red blooded fire breathing sports car. Nothing ruins a product’s reputation faster than disappointed clients. The suspension was borrowed from the Chevette and the Phoenix / Citation. It was functional rather than performance orientated. It was the same story with the engine (but more on that in the next point). It wasn’t a bad car. It just wasn’t what people were expecting.

Second, there were so many mechanical problems. Many of the problems came back to the challenges of cooling a mid-engine car. They put the radiator all the way at the front. This means they had to run the coolant to the front and back again. They managed to leave the pipes used for this in a position where they could be crushed by people trying to jack up the car. This also meant that there was a special procedure for adding coolant. The car had to be running and some versions of the instructions say that you had to remove the thermostat. If you didn’t do these things there would be an air bubble in the system and that would make the car overheat. Then, due to a misprint somewhere, the dipstick and the owner’s manual indicated that the engine required 3 litres of oil. Unfortunately it required 4. There was also a flaw in the casting of the connecting rods. Due to some imperfections they could shatter if things got too hot.

It was a perfect storm of mistakes. When you add people driving it hard, like the sports car the marketing department kept telling people it was, the engine fires were inevitable.

Third, GM took too long to rectify the problems. By the time they started addressing the issues the car’s reputation was shot.

It was only a couple of years later that Mazda released the incredibly successful Miata. Mazda was able to use this to redefine their whole company. Mazda ate GM’s lunch.


Pontiac managed to miss the mark again with the Aztek. Large vehicles to haul the family around have been top selling vehicles for decades. In the 70’s this turf was owned by the station wagon. They took regular sedans, stretched the roofline back to the bumper, slapped a tailgate on it and it was done. Mechanically they were almost identical to their sedan counterparts. Often it was just a matter of beefing up the suspension to handle the extra weight.

Original concept vehicle for the Pontiac Aztek
Image borrowed from: http://www.autospies.com/news/Recently-Deceased-The-Top-10-Reasons-Why-Pontiac-Failed-44511/


The station wagon had a long run as the family hauler of choice but in the 80’s people started migrating to the minivan. It was a rejection of what mom used to drive. In the 90’s people rejected the minivan and migrated to SUVs. The SUVs had the space families required but most of them were designed for off road ability.

The GM designers saw the future. They knew that less than 10 percent of SUVs sold would ever see use in anything more rugged than a mud puddle. They knew that people were buying them for their carrying capacity and because they looked tough.

Their idea was solid. Build a vehicle that looks like an SUV, drives like a car, hauls cargo like a van and they threw in all wheel drive for good measure. Just like the Fiero, they had all the elements right and then things went horribly wrong.

How did they manage to drop the ball?

They based the Aztek on the Pontiac Montana, a basic low rent minivan. They removed the sliding doors and added a slanted rear hatch. This made it the size and shape of a minivan but with less utility. To distract people from this they made it incredibly ugly. Reviews around the web seem to indicate that it was a bit of a lemon too.

There is a rumour that GM executives were told that they WERE going to have Azteks as their company vehicles and they WERE going to be seen smiling while they drove them.

In the last year of production they sold 25. That is incredible, especially when you consider that GM was throwing incredible rebates at it.

Today, crossover vehicles, which they call these now, are one of the fastest growing markets. At least GM has now produced some crossovers that don’t look like they were designed by multiple designers who hated each other.

The version they put on sale. They seemed to hide a lot of them in the woods


I could go on, but I think I am trying your patience with the length of this article. I may have picked on GM a bit. There are a number of GM missteps I have left out, but no manufacturer is without sin.

Ford had the Mustang II, Honda had 4 wheel steering, and Mazda toiled in futility for years with the Wankel Rotary Engine.

Maybe someday I will whine about them in “Things that looked good on paper part 2”. Only time will tell.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

BMW Blogger contest? Not for me

I got an email last week letting me know that a BMW dealer in Toronto is running a contest. The winner gets to be their official in house blogger and new media person. On the upside you get a place to live, a new BMW to drive every six months and $65 000 a year. If you are interested you can read up on it at this link:


http://endrasbmw.com/ultimateblogger/about


There are a couple of downsides:

You have to live in Toronto. For my readers who are not in Canada, Toronto is Canada’s largest city, Canada’s largest armpit and a frustrating place to have a car. Toronto city council has been waging a war against the car for years. The weirdest example of this is to save the environment they intentionally desynchronized the traffic lights. How does this help the environment? The closest I can figure is that it may piss people off to the point where they will stop driving. When the lights are synchronized the traffic spends more time moving, people get to where they are going faster and burn less gas. There are a lot of great cars in this city but there aren’t really any great roads to drive them on. Other cities, like Vancouver, Montreal and Ottawa have great driving roads very close by. It is such a tease to have a fantastic car without some twists and turns. If all you are going to do is 10 km/hr while sitting 4 feet off of somebody’s bumper, you may as well be driving a Camry.


Driving in Toronto, what a wonderful driving experience!
Picture borrowed from: http://jackandcokewithalime.blogspot.com/2010/05/toronto-traffic-gridlock-makes-idling.html


This is where you can appreciate a quality car, the Sea to Sky Highway near Vancouver.
Picture borrowed from: http://www.sweetspot.ca/SweetLife/gifts_and_occasions/8665/2_hour_drive_sea_to_sky_highway/


I imagine that they want you to be very positive about BMW. Now I get that they are paying the tab but I like the idea of saying whatever comes to mind. BMW has made some incredible vehicles. I drove a 5 series down the autobahn and it was amazing. At 200 km/h it just planted itself on the road and responded like it was an extension of my body. Many of the controls are just in the right place with the right amount of resistance. They feel substantial but are still easy to use.

For more of me gushing about Germany:

http://here-in-my-car.blogspot.com/2010/07/bahn-storming.html

http://here-in-my-car.blogspot.com/2010/08/nurburgring.html

http://here-in-my-car.blogspot.com/2010/10/nurburgring-ii-electric-boogalloo.html


They did not invent the executive sedan market. You see that coming from both sides of the ocean. In England, Jaguar was producing quality vehicles that a bank manager or an executive could afford. They were powerful and luxurious. They made the statement “I have arrived”. In North America, this role was being filled by upper end GM products; Cadillac had the Eldorado and Oldsmobile had the 442. Both of these had power and style but lacked sophistication. This says a lot about North America.

1966 Jag S Type, you can just hear the class and the snobbery


1972 Olds 442, the executive muscle car
Pic borrowed from: http://autoshow.autotrader.ca/2009/07/27/the-cars-of-the-imperial-palace-las-vegas/1972-oldsmobile-442-2/


1967 Caddy Eldorado, Insert giant land yacht joke here


BMW spent the 60’s and 70’s quietly building a reputation among enthusiasts. It was like a secret club. They started showing up at race tracks and in the driveways of people in the know.

A 1970’s vintage BMW ready to go racing

Then the 80’s happened. Suddenly greed was good and it was important to show people how much you had spent. Anything from North America was seen as tasteless and horribly tacky. A BMW, anything from a 3 series on up, was a way to show that you were sophisticated, modern and successful. While a lot of the things associated with the yuppie culture are still considered toxic (Brute 33, wine coolers and that poster with the chick with the sunglasses), BMW managed to come out of the 80’s with its reputation intact. This success gave them enough money to plough in to R & D to keep them relevant for the next 20 years.



This poster was issued to every bachelor pad in the 80’s

But BMW has also produced some clinkers.

The BMW Isetta: It had the door from a fridge, no reverse gear and between 13 and 64 hp depending on the version. You were the crumple zone and your seat was the single cylinder engine. The three wheeled versions were prone to rolling over. It was this car and the Messerschmitt KR200 that inspired the British to create the Mini. They demanded that the Mini have seating for four and real doors. It went on to become one of the most iconic and influential cars of all time.

BMW Isetta with Cary Grant?

The BMW 318i: It was a poor man’s BMW. You got a badge, a poorly equipped car and an engine that was almost powerful enough to drag the car around. For the same money you could get yourself a top of the line VW GTI. The 318i was even looked down upon by other BMW owners. At least with the GTI the servicing costs would be reasonable. This is because most of the parts on the GTI were shared with the Golf. There are millions of Golfs around the world, so the parts would be plentiful and relatively cheap. There were also more people trained to work on Golfs than BMWs.

The bargain basement BMW (1997 BMW 318i)

The current BMW 6 series: From the front and the side, this is a beautiful car. The back side looks like it has made a few too many trips to the buffet. The inside looks like it was designed by somebody who just doesn’t like cars. This is so surprising because so many BMW interiors are slick, efficient and cool. This car is more frustrating than most because it is soooooo close to being a perfect car. Oh well, we will just have to worship the Audi S5 instead.

Ok, you don’t have to get it with all the wood trim but the second dashboard hump for the nav. system is hideous.
Pic borrowed from: http://the-grayline.com/2008/08/13/bmw-6-series-sport/bmw-6-series-sport-8/


So, this contest is not for me. I wish all the contestants luck. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. If you do win, use it as a springboard. Social media is cool, for now. I don’t even do this blog for anybody else but me. I hope others enjoy my random ramblings but it is not part of my master career plan. I don’t think that many dealerships will be able to afford to keep a social media person around for very long. Most dealership owners that I have met are looking for a way to make their money make more money and I don’t think this will. That being said, if they want to toss me the keys to a new BMW every six months ........I may be open to writing a few flattering lines ;) .

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Flying Cars, Dumbest Idea Ever

I was walking across the dealership when a fellow salesman called me over to his desk. It was just after the turn of the century and he was going to show me the future. He had a model of the Moller M400 Skycar. He was sure that within five years he was going to be a top flying car salesman and that road transportation was going to be on the way out.



Moller M400, the perfect transportation for a super-villain


Picture borrowed from: http://www.impactlab.net/2010/09/26/history-of-the-flying-car-part-five-the-moller-skycar/

I was absolutely amazed ...... amazed that anybody over the age of five took this idea seriously. For me, this idea ranks in the same category as the water fountains that dispense orange soda. Nice to have? Sure. Practical in any way shape or form? No No No nope not even close!



The idea of the flying car is as old as the car itself. There were predictions that the model T ford was going to be replaced with them.

The ideas for the flying cars seem to fall in to two basic categories and both of them are ridiculous:

First you have planes that are modified to drive on the road.



Look, it’s the future!

Pic borrowed from: http://www.autoevolution.com/news-image/flying-cars-we-ll-never-live-to-see-them-15356-5.html


As a car then as a plane


These tend to be awful cars. The idea is that they don’t have to be very good at driving because you are going to cover most of your distance in the air.



The other method is to start with a car and you bolt airplane stuff to it. This tends to make a plane with weird aerodynamic principles.



Live and Let Fly?

Pic borrowed from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/1292460.stm

The idea of the flying car tends to look like a good idea when we are sitting in that traffic jam. What we tend to envision is pushing a button and taking to the sky, leaving the miles and miles of slowly moving traffic behind. It is a good dream. It gets even more tempting when you start thinking of the distance between locations in straight lines, rather than following roads. On top of that there are no stop signs or read lights in the sky. How could there possibly be a problem?

Well, very few of the flying car ideas involve technology where you can take off or land vertically. Without that technology, you would have to travel to some sort of airport or take off area, fly to another airport closer to your location, land and then drive to your destination. Any time you save by flying is spent traveling to and from the airports. The more popular the flying car becomes, the busier these airports would be. Why not build more airports? Look at the controversy when they have tried to expand airports like Heathrow in London and Pearson in Toronto. Just imagine the outcry when they tried to build dozens of new airports.

This does not even address the issue of storing the aircraft wings. Some models have the wings folding up and moving with the vehicle on the ground. This adds nothing to the driveability.



Look it is an ugly car and an ugly plane


Pic borrowed from: http://www.inquisitr.com/20269/flying-car-video/

Most of them see the wings being shed and stored somewhere while you are driving. I am picturing some sort of giant parking lot filled with wings.

If they are using vertical takeoff and landing technology the challenge of flying them becomes more complex. I have had some people suggest that computers would take care of the more difficult aspects of flying. The computer in your vehicle could tie in to some sort of master air traffic control computer. This super computer would keep everybody at different altitudes. This is an interesting prospect, especially for anybody who has experienced the wonderful and famous computer “blue screen of death”.



Would you like to restart in safe mode, at 1000 feet?

Pic borrowed from: http://fourquestions.us/personal/fun/bluescreen.php

Turning complete control over to our fine microchiped friends is a daunting prospect. Just think about the countless stories of dolts who have driven in to rivers or other stupid places by doing exactly what their GPS told them to. There would be people in these vehicles to take control if anything goes wrong.



This brings us to the most compelling reason that we should not have flying cars:

Think about the last car trip you took. How many people did you see doing incredibly stupid things? Speeding through residential neighbourhoods, rolling through stop signs and not signalling are all pretty standard stupid things. We also see the ridiculous people applying make-up, reading newspapers and getting changed while driving. These are all things that they do while moving 2 tonnes of glass and steel at deadly speeds on the ground. On the ground you can only hit things that are on the same level as you. Flying allows you the luxury of hitting things above or below you as well. There is also an added bonus. If you are flying and you hit something you will also have very good odds of hitting the ground as well.

So we would have a whole new threat of things falling from the sky.




And this happened without flying cars

Pic borrowed from: http://www.guzer.com/pictures/car-attic.php

I can understand the fantasy of the flying car. Speedy travel that avoids traffic jams, lets us take the most direct route and gives us fantastic views is appealing. It is a Jetsons, everybody in a silver jumpsuit, utopia.

The reality is just too depressing. It has vehicles that do two things, neither of them very well. It brings complexities that we can’t even envision at this point. It brings vehicular carnage beyond belief.



On the ground you exchange insurance information



In the air your relatives fight over your belongings


Pic borrowed from: http://jalopnik.com/5536172/small-plane-crashes-into-suv-during-british-drag-race

The thing that really makes me shake my head is that people are still investing millions of dollars in to this. Nobody can tell at this point how many of the existing flying car ventures are serious and how many are outright scams. But if somebody comes along with the investment opportunity of a lifetime, where you can get in on the ground floor of the next great leap in transportation ........ RUN AWAY!







Sunday, December 12, 2010

An open letter to the guys at Top Gear USA

You guys have been taking a lot of flack and it’s not deserved.
You are a brand new show on a basic cable channel. Instead of being compared to Auction Hunters or Parking Wars, your benchmark is a show on the largest broadcaster in ..... the world. Top Gear has had a decent budget and eight years to perfect their craft.

          BBC World Headquarters





            











The History Channel Headquarters



They started with hosts that were fairly well known and they had a clear vision of what they wanted. The cinematography is on par with anything Hollywood has to offer. Their choice of music is sublime; it often has a cheeky tangential connection to what is being discussed. Most importantly they had a clear vision of what they wanted. There was also time for them to develop organically. Segments were expanded or dropped; there was even a host that was replaced. Much of this happened while it was just another car show. There is a lot of freedom when you are not in the spotlight.

Because Top Gear has a large and loyal fan base there was a lot of internet chatter long before your show ever started to film. It was going to be on NBC, it was going to be hosted by Jay Leno or Adam Carolla. Was there going to be a Stig? Would it be the same Stig? The biggest threads seemed to be that there was no way that any copy would be anywhere as good as the original Top Gear. Once people have decided that they don’t like something, even before they have seen it, you have an incredibly tough job convincing them they were wrong.

So far I have seen exactly one episode of Top Gear USA. It is the one with the “moonshine challenge”. I would have watched them all but the History Channel‘s website has been a little wonky and there are not any channels carrying it in Canada.

I don’t really know the hosts yet. There is the Kevin Smith looking guy, who is apparently from the south, the guy from New Jersey who sounds vaguely like Joe Pesci and the drifting guy. It will take a while to learn their personalities. We saw a flash of potential when they were reviewing the new Mustang performance package. One of them loved it and the other was very critical of it. This was very reminiscent of the Top gear we know and love. Do more of this. The audience is afraid that you will be too scared to give an honest appraisal of a car unlike our British friends.

Who are these guys?

 I was disappointed with the cheap car challenge. The challenges are some of my favourite parts of Top Gear. You missed a pivotal part of the traditional Top Gear Challenges. The guys were sent out to buy cars for $ 1000 but, unlike the British version, they were not given the theme. We are used to the hosts being told they are going to drive to a certain location or prove a certain point. From what the audience was shown, the guys were not told what the objective was until they had purchased the cars. This made it a little less interesting as there was less justification for their choices. It was also a little weird that while we are still trying to figure out who is who, two of the hosts were wearing plaid shirts, unless this is the Top Gear USA uniform.


Somebody forgot their checked shirt

It was a little odd that there seemed to be no reference to the original Top Gear show. There were things that a Top Gear fan would recognise but things like the Stig may be a little odd for somebody who is new to the brand. The studio audience didn’t seem to know what to make of the hosts bickering. Maybe there should be some sort of warm up act to draw the audience in.

There are a couple of changes that could make a world of difference:

I think your best value for money and time would be to introduce the Top Gear Cool Wall. It is so cheap to do. All you need is a wall segmented in to “Seriously Un Cool”, “Un Cool”, “Cool”, ”Sub Zero” and some pictures of cars. The audience learns a lot about the hosts as they debate where the cars should sit.

Very entertaining, good value for money

Expand the news segment. It is a great opportunity for the hosts to debate and inject some humour in to the show.

Reference the British show. It would help to explain things like the Stig, well as much as he can be explained.

I want to like this show. I like the idea of seeing more cars that are applicable to my world. We don’t see many Peugeots or Austin Marinas here in North America. The original Top Gear is known for dropping pianos on Austin Marinas. I would like to see the USA boys doing something similar with the North American equivalent, the K-car.

Marina about to be crushed by a piano



     
         










One Klassy K-car



 It is unfair that you are being compared to the original Top Gear. In reality it should be compared to the almost unwatchable Motorweek. No offence to the men and women who made this show but it is awful. Everything on Motorweek is presented in the most scripted and wooden way. They have also never reviewed a car that they didn’t love. It can be hard. All of these shows walk a fine line. If they are too critical the manufacturers might not let them play with their toys. If they are not critical enough their opinion is worthless.


In short, keep up the good work guys. I don’t think you have the recipe exactly right yet. You have all the components. As you work together you will get more comfortable, less of the show will have to be scripted and the more natural it will feel. Keep working the mix and, if they give you enough time, you’ll figure it out.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Nurburgring II , Electric Boogalloo

Last time I told you all about my four laps of NORSCHLIFE, but this is only half the story.


I returned to the visitors centre after I had done my four laps and I had looked over all the interesting cars.

They have a wonderful information kiosk. The people at the desk were unfailingly polite and full of good advice. I signed up for the tour of the facility. There were a few hours until the tour so I started to look around.


It starts here


My first stop was ring werk. It is a fantastic museum that covers: automotive history, Nurburgring history, truck racing, F1 racing, the future of automotive technology and much more. Most of the printed information is in German (not a surprise) but there are great guides around every corner. After a couple of hours there I went to the stores.

For a car guy, it is nirvana. These are not the stores you find at your local strip mall. The main gift shop has a Ford GT40 sitting in it. There is a Ferrari store with everything you could ever imagine with a Ferrari logo on it, except a car. The Aston Martin store did have a race ready car in it. At the Veritas Store I got in to a great conversation with one of their chief designers. He was more than happy to give me some insight in to their designs and the history of their company. At the racing supply store, I did break down and buy a pair of racing shoes. Did I need them? No, but they look cool and feel great.



Yes this is the real deal

Through the windows of these stores I could watch the Porsche Cup race being held on the grand prix circuit.

I took a walk through the original pits. There was a classic car rally using the pits as a stopping point. Porsches, Austin Healys and other fascinating vehicles were stretched as far as the eye could see. I got some great pictures.





I made it back to the information desk just in time for the back stage tour. There was only one anglophone on the tour (that would be me) but the guide was more than happy to say everything twice.





I was expecting a quick run around the track and a couple of standard history lessons. The tour went on and on. We walked down an active pit row. We saw the press room, the driver’s room and the podium where the winners are awarded their prizes. The tour guide was knowledgeable and patient.





I stuck around looking at everything I could until they started locking up. I didn’t want to go. The people I met were pure car freaks, just like me. Nothing was dumbed down. It did not feel like a plastic Disney version of its former self.

This is where I am a bit worried. They are building a spa nearby. There are more people talking about it on the internet. What was once a secret whispered amongst those with high octane in their veins is now showing up in Cadillac commercials and video games. I don’t mind the gospel being spread to the faithful but if it gets too well known there will be problems. They start by making sure there is something for the whole family. Heath and safety will show up ensuring that nobody can possibly get hurt. From there it is a hop, skip and jump to a costumed mascot, a theme song and a liability wavier thick enough to stop a bullet.

If this happens, the faithful will be looking for a new place. It will be a place that the nanny state has not caught up to yet. It will be a place with long straights, blind curves and lots of hills. You will know you are close when you can hear the engines cooling with that unmistakable tick tick tick. You will see the brake dust turning the front wheels from silver to pewter to black. ......

Until that happens, enjoy the ring. It is truly an amazing place!









Sunday, August 15, 2010

Nurburgring

When we were planning the family holiday to Europe we each listed the one thing that was most important for us to experience there. For me it was the Nurburgring. The attraction started with the idea that for twenty five Euros you could drive a world class track. It turned out to be one of the most amazing days of my life.


I left the hotel early and got to the ring before anything was open. I spent an hour walking around the facility, pressing my nose against every window. Behind every one was something more wonderful than what was behind the last one. One store had an original GT-40. The Aston Martin Store had a race ready Aston Martin. Then I saw the Veritas that Richard Hammond had driven on Top Gear. It turns out it is the only one they built.



Pretty isn’t it?


When the visitor’s centre opened the incredibly helpful and pleasant staff, who spoke English beautifully, set me up with my ringcard. It is your pass to everything at the Nurburgring. Wave it past the readers and away you go.




Your passport to fun


It took me a while to find the entrance to Nordschleife (the part of the ring you get to drive on). The visitor centre, museum and grandstand are at the Grand Prix circuit. I knew I was getting close as the density of exotic cars got thicker and thicker. I came up to a small roundabout with a safety vested official looking person waving people through a particular exit. He wanted you to show that you had your ringcard ready. I flashed him the card and got comfortable. I figured that something this amazing would have lines that make Boxing Day sale lines look short. I was wrong. The swipe card system keeps the cars moving quickly and I was only 10 cars from the gate. I was busy going over the rules, stay to the right if you are driving slow (that was me, a first timer in a diesel), put on your right turn signal if you are letting somebody go by, watch for yellow flags .........

Before I knew it, the arm raised and I was on the track.

Before the trip I had spent a lot of time watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ikj90_Un0o


It is the Corvette ZR-1 setting a record. I liked this video because of all the information. You had speed, rpm and an indication of where it was on the track. I thought this would let me know what to do where. While it was fun to watch, it was no help what so ever. There is just too much information. Depending on which website you read there are anywhere between 70 and 120 corners and it changes elevation 1000 feet. Even if you could memorize all of this from the videos there is so much more information that you can’t. There are the G forces that are changing direction every moment. There are the other cars to keep in mind. Most importantly is that while you are there you are more giddy than a hyperactive 5 year old filled with chocolate and brought to Disneyland.




The track marshals do an amazing job of keeping a balance between the wait times and traffic on the track. I never waited more than 10 minutes to get on to the track. At the same time they made sure there was lots of room to play.

Driving the ring is amazing. It is like ridding the big roller coaster for the first time when you are eight. There are similar forces on your body. There is a similar sense of speed. There is one major difference; on the roller coaster your safety is relatively assured. People do die on the ring and accidents are frequent. On my day, I did four laps of the track. I saw accidents on three of those laps. The worst was a 911 that had gone snout first into the wall. There was nothing left from the bumper to the windshield.

Not the accident I saw but you get the idea.


While you do not have to sign a legal waiver to drive on the track (technically not a track but a toll road) you are responsible for your actions and any accidents you cause. If you need to be towed off for any reason it is two hundred Euros. If you break the guardrail they charge you by the foot for the replacement cost.

Coming off the track I was giddy. I pulled in to the parking lot and admired the cars. There was a lot of representation from the BMW and Porsche fans. There was also a strong contingent from Japan, lots of Subarus and Nissan GT-Rs. There was even a Dodge Challenger club that had come out to play. Everybody was very friendly, even if you did not speak the same language. I think it is because this is not a place you find by accident. If you come here, you are a car fanatic.

The closer you walked to the track the more expensive the cars became. The Japanese cars disappeared and the Ferraris came in to view. The Porsches all became GT3s. I saw the pavilion for the BMW Driving Experience, where you can have Sabine Schmitz (the undisputed queen of the ring) take you around the track in a V10 BMW 5 series. There was also a race ready Aston Martin that you could ride shotgun for a price. I was going flat out when it blew by me like I was going backwards.


She is faster than you are


In between every turn I would take an hour to relax, enjoy the sights and talk with the people. There were car fiends from all over Europe who were more than happy to talk. The cars were fascinating. There was the Caterham R500, which is a little car with a big engine. The owner explained how he had systematically gone through the car shaving weight. There were the trio of British motorcyclists who left work on Friday evening and drove hard to get to the ring to do a few laps then turn around and drive back to be in time for work on Monday. This is the kind of devotion the Nurburgring inspires.

Next time I will write about the other things to do and see at the ring

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Bahn-storming

This is the sign in Germany that indicates no speed limit (yippie!)


Germany is a fantastic place to drive. I can tell you that the Autobahns do exist and there are lots of areas that have no speed limits. They also have a lower highway mortality rate. They do have some odd and quirky rules when it comes to intersections but so does B.C.

It is an amazing system. It is efficient, it is fast and, unfortunately, it would never work here.

The first thing that you have to understand is that the Germans have a different view of driving. Here in North America you will find people texting, eating, applying makeup and all doing all sorts of odd things behind the wheel. It was not that long ago that German cars didn’t even come with cup holders. In North America they have caught people, texting, eating, watching movies. It becomes easier with automatic transmissions and cruise control. People become dissociated from the driving process. It is like they are watching TV or playing a video game.

Unfortunately not a unique sight on Ontario roads


This attitude is not helped by the driving test in North America. In Ontario, until a couple of decades ago, you got your learner’s permit with a 20 question multiple choice test and you could immediately turn around and take a road test. The road test was often about ten minutes long and contained a three point turn and a parallel park. As long as you behaved yourself, watched your speed limit, obeyed all the signs and were lucky you were going home with your licence. With that licence you were legally able to drive anywhere in Canada. You were also able to drive anything from a Chevette to a Corvette. There was a legend at my high school about somebody who was not lucky. Allegedly, this guy crashed in to a school bus full of his fellow students while he was on his driving test.

In comparison, the Driving Licence in Germany costs over $2000 and requires 25 – 45 hours of professional driving instruction and 12 hours of driving theory. The driving instruction must include autobahn, city and night driving. The questions on the test are about mechanical aspects of the car as well as regular driving theory. With everything they have to go through to get their licences it is easy to see why they value them so much.

There is also a huge difference in the vehicles you see on the road. Here in Ontario we can see some rough cars on the road. They do have to get their exhaust system checked every two years but the rest of the car only has to be checked if the ownership is changed. The police can order vehicles to be inspected but you generally only see this happen in extreme situations.

In Germany you rarely see a car that is not in pristine condition. Part of this is due to the German pride, they really believe in doing things right if you are going to do them. They are also required to put their cars through a rigorous inspection every two years. It is notoriously tough. Cars can fail for having a broken light or even a dent in the wrong spot.

The German roads are also in great shape. They are planed with speed in mind and are well maintained. Here in Ontario they regularly run competitions to find the worst potholes in the province. There is a lot of competition. Some of them are inconvenient. Some of them are suspension killers. Many of them sneak up on you. There is nothing quite like that feeling when your tire drops ½ way to Australia when you are not expecting it.

A very pretty stretch of autobahn



Again this is a little easier for our German friends. Here in Ottawa we have a temperature range that runs from 40 above to 40 below Celsius. That can take quite a toll on anything. Then you have to factor in the damage done by snow plows and tons of salt. We could have perfectly maintained roads but we really wouldn’t like the taxes we would have to pay for it.

If we wanted to move to a system like they have in Germany here it would take a lot of time to transition. If they just flipped the switch and let us rocket down they highways as fast as we want, the roads would be filled with carnage and emergency vehicles. Just imagine all the rusty 1995 Cameros , all the fast and furious Honda Civics and all the soccer moms in their mini-vans running late for something. Now imagine them all fighting for fast lane supremacy. You also know that there would be some fool in the passing lane going exactly 100 km/h to slow down those crazy drivers.

Sorry, the mullet got in my eyes



At one point in Montana the daytime speed limit was “whatever is safe and reasonable”. This allowed the police some latitude. If they felt that somebody was driving too fast for the driver’s experience, the driver’s car or the road condition they could issue a ticket. Some felt this was unfair but it allowed the police to keep the highway from turning in to a scene from Mad Max. The federal government in the states put an end to this when they threatened to withdraw highway funding from any state that did not keep a tight rein on their speed limits.

Will we ever see autobahn style regulations in Canada? It isn’t likely. Before we saw anything like this there would have to be fundamental changes in how we as a society view driving and how we regulate what vehicles can be on the road. There is not much social pressure to move in this direction. There is a push towards more regulation, more arbitrary speed limits and more cameras. This allows the do-gooders to feel like they are saving the world and it increases revenues coming from speeding tickets. It also allows the car insurance companies to charge more. There are a lot of economic incentives to keep things as they are. More’s the pity