Top Gear America

As you may have seen earlier in my blog I am a big fan of the TV show Top Gear. For those of you who are not familiar, it is a TV show, magazine and a website (http://www.topgear.com/uk/ ). Last year NBC had planned to do an American version. This went sideways with the economic downturn and the failure of Knight Rider. Now there are reports that the History Channel has picked it up for 12 episodes. This idea has me very excited and very worried.

Of course I would like to see top gear produced on this side of the pond. There would be more coverage of cars and situations that are applicable to my life, more in jokes that I can catch and more guests that I recognise.

This would not be the first time that a TV show has been re-done for a North American audience. There have been some great successes; The Office, All in the Family (Till Death do us Part U.K.) and Three’s Company (Man About the House U.K.) and some great failures; Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers (Chateau Snavely U.S., Amanda’s U.S. and Payne U.S.) and Coupling.

My fears:

What I am really worried about is somebody doing a bargain basement version of my favourite show. You can make a relatively cheap car show. I have seen many of them. You get a couple of hosts, it is helpful but not required that they know something about cars. It is more important that they can read a teleprompter. Your set needs; a couple of chairs, you can steal them out of the production office, a sign with the shows name on it, this can be done by any 2nd year graphic design student for a line on their resume and a case of beer, and some random car bits borrowed from your local scrap yard. Some shows haven’t even bothered with a set, saving even more money.

I am sure that the people who work on these shows are good, hard working folks but their goal seems to be filling a ½ hour of TV as cheaply as possible. They know that as long as they are relatively positive about every car they look at, the car companies will be more than happy to drop off vehicles for them to look at. It won’t be the big, expensive and cool stuff but that doesn’t matter. The 5 minute “news” segment will be easily filled by somebody reading from the stack of press releases sent over by the manufacturers. It is the same formula they use on the entertainment news shows, just substitute actor for car and add in Ben Mulroney if you happen to be in Canada.

What it will look like if they do it right:

First thing they will need is a cinematographer. There is a lot of artistry that goes in to the Top Gear shoots. It is done so well it makes other car shows look like that wedding video shot by your weird uncle with the tremors.

They also need to choose their hosts very carefully. Ideally they would be entertaining and have some opinions on cars. There are a few names that have come up repeatedly around this. Jay Leno is often mentioned. He does know a lot about cars and he does own his own automotive museum but I don’t think this is the right gig for him. His personality and celebrity would turn it in to “Jay Leno’s Top Gear”. I know Adam Carolla has a car podcast and that his name often comes up in connection with this project. He seems to know his stuff and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of giving his opinion. Christopher Titus would be another good host. He loves cars and is outspoken. If they need a third host, yes I would be interested ;) Yes I know that I am just one of a million Top Gear fans who would want the job but ..... i said it first. Mind you, if they really need a Canadian host Jim Kenzie is both qualified and funny. http://jimkenzie.com/

In the original show they do a segment called ‘star in a reasonably priced car’. It is exactly what it sounds like. They drop these people in a cheap car and send them around the track and time their laps. They throw in a short interview as well that usually involves Jeremy Clarkson teasing them about the cars they have owned. In North America I am sure the agents and lawyer s would have coronaries thinking about their clients whipping around a track. Jay Leno tried to bring a version of this to his ill fated 10 pm show. By the time his ‘star in a car’ segment made it to air they were driving a hybrid car around a parking lot past cardboard cutouts.

This is exactly what I am afraid will happen to the whole show. They will suck all the joy out of it. They will run it through focus groups and make sure nobody’s feelings are getting hurt and it will be Top Gear in name only. I really like the original show. It is fun and silly. If they think a car is a piece of junk they will say so. On time they hated a car so badly, they bought one, drove it off the lot and destroyed it with a sledge hammer. It is a show where they celebrate guys being guys and they manage to do it without objectifying women.

To sum up, this is a plea to whoever has any pull with anybody who has pull with the producers of Top Gear USA (if they ever manage to get their stuff together and get it made), please please please for the love of God please don’t screw up my favorite show. I promise, if you do this right not everybody will like it, but those who do will be fiercely loyal fans.