Nurburgring

When we were planning the family holiday to Europe we each listed the one thing that was most important for us to experience there. For me it was the Nurburgring. The attraction started with the idea that for twenty five Euros you could drive a world class track. It turned out to be one of the most amazing days of my life.

I left the hotel early and got to the ring before anything was open. I spent an hour walking around the facility, pressing my nose against every window. Behind every one was something more wonderful than what was behind the last one. One store had an original GT-40. The Aston Martin Store had a race ready Aston Martin. Then I saw the Veritas that Richard Hammond had driven on Top Gear. It turns out it is the only one they built.

Pretty isn’t it?

http://luxurytoys-carl.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html

When the visitor’s centre opened the incredibly helpful and pleasant staff, who spoke English beautifully, set me up with my ringcard. It is your pass to everything at the Nurburgring. Wave it past the readers and away you go.

Your passport to fun

http://www.nuerburgring.de/en/info/ringcard.html

It took me a while to find the entrance to Nordschleife (the part of the ring you get to drive on). The visitor centre, museum and grandstand are at the Grand Prix circuit. I knew I was getting close as the density of exotic cars got thicker and thicker. I came up to a small roundabout with a safety vested official looking person waving people through a particular exit. He wanted you to show that you had your ringcard ready. I flashed him the card and got comfortable. I figured that something this amazing would have lines that make Boxing Day sale lines look short. I was wrong. The swipe card system keeps the cars moving quickly and I was only 10 cars from the gate. I was busy going over the rules, stay to the right if you are driving slow (that was me, a first timer in a diesel), put on your right turn signal if you are letting somebody go by, watch for yellow flags .........

Before I knew it, the arm raised and I was on the track.

Before the trip I had spent a lot of time watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ikj90_Un0o


It is the Corvette ZR-1 setting a record. I liked this video because of all the information. You had speed, rpm and an indication of where it was on the track. I thought this would let me know what to do where. While it was fun to watch, it was no help what so ever. There is just too much information. Depending on which website you read there are anywhere between 70 and 120 corners and it changes elevation 1000 feet. Even if you could memorize all of this from the videos there is so much more information that you can’t. There are the G forces that are changing direction every moment. There are the other cars to keep in mind. Most importantly is that while you are there you are more giddy than a hyperactive 5 year old filled with chocolate and brought to Disneyland.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N%C3%BCrburgring

The track marshals do an amazing job of keeping a balance between the wait times and traffic on the track. I never waited more than 10 minutes to get on to the track. At the same time they made sure there was lots of room to play.

Driving the ring is amazing. It is like ridding the big roller coaster for the first time when you are eight. There are similar forces on your body. There is a similar sense of speed. There is one major difference; on the roller coaster your safety is relatively assured. People do die on the ring and accidents are frequent. On my day, I did four laps of the track. I saw accidents on three of those laps. The worst was a 911 that had gone snout first into the wall. There was nothing left from the bumper to the windshield.

Not the accident I saw but you get the idea.

http://jalopnik.com/373807/porsche-911-gt3-rolls-literally-around-corner-at-the-ring

While you do not have to sign a legal waiver to drive on the track (technically not a track but a toll road) you are responsible for your actions and any accidents you cause. If you need to be towed off for any reason it is two hundred Euros. If you break the guardrail they charge you by the foot for the replacement cost.

Coming off the track I was giddy. I pulled in to the parking lot and admired the cars. There was a lot of representation from the BMW and Porsche fans. There was also a strong contingent from Japan, lots of Subarus and Nissan GT-Rs. There was even a Dodge Challenger club that had come out to play. Everybody was very friendly, even if you did not speak the same language. I think it is because this is not a place you find by accident. If you come here, you are a car fanatic.

The closer you walked to the track the more expensive the cars became. The Japanese cars disappeared and the Ferraris came in to view. The Porsches all became GT3s. I saw the pavilion for the BMW Driving Experience, where you can have Sabine Schmitz (the undisputed queen of the ring) take you around the track in a V10 BMW 5 series. There was also a race ready Aston Martin that you could ride shotgun for a price. I was going flat out when it blew by me like I was going backwards.

She is faster than you are

In between every turn I would take an hour to relax, enjoy the sights and talk with the people. There were car fiends from all over Europe who were more than happy to talk. The cars were fascinating. There was the Caterham R500, which is a little car with a big engine. The owner explained how he had systematically gone through the car shaving weight. There were the trio of British motorcyclists who left work on Friday evening and drove hard to get to the ring to do a few laps then turn around and drive back to be in time for work on Monday. This is the kind of devotion the Nurburgring inspires.

Next time I will write about the other things to do and see at the ring

Bahn-storming

This is the sign in Germany that indicates no speed limit (yippie!)

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://s7d4.scene7.com/is/image/GriotsGarage/10257%3F%24detail%24&imgrefurl=http://www.griotsgarage.com/product/what%2Bis%2Bnew/german%2Bmade%2Bno%2Bspeed%2Blimit%2Bautobahn%2Bsign.do&usg=__di8EdPSr42l1HQXFQ5AcqEoLopI=&h=350&w=350&sz=20&hl=en&start=26&itbs=1&tbnid=bVO2UNfiYc5sLM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dautobahn,%2Bunlimited%2Bspeed%2Blimit%2Bsign%26start%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1

Germany is a fantastic place to drive. I can tell you that the Autobahns do exist and there are lots of areas that have no speed limits. They also have a lower highway mortality rate. They do have some odd and quirky rules when it comes to intersections but so does B.C.

It is an amazing system. It is efficient, it is fast and, unfortunately, it would never work here.

The first thing that you have to understand is that the Germans have a different view of driving. Here in North America you will find people texting, eating, applying makeup and all doing all sorts of odd things behind the wheel. It was not that long ago that German cars didn’t even come with cup holders. In North America they have caught people, texting, eating, watching movies. It becomes easier with automatic transmissions and cruise control. People become dissociated from the driving process. It is like they are watching TV or playing a video game.

Unfortunately not a unique sight on Ontario roads

http://www.examiner.com/x-696-Auto-Examiner~y2009m8d5-What-kind-of-distracted-driver-are-you

This attitude is not helped by the driving test in North America. In Ontario, until a couple of decades ago, you got your learner’s permit with a 20 question multiple choice test and you could immediately turn around and take a road test. The road test was often about ten minutes long and contained a three point turn and a parallel park. As long as you behaved yourself, watched your speed limit, obeyed all the signs and were lucky you were going home with your licence. With that licence you were legally able to drive anywhere in Canada. You were also able to drive anything from a Chevette to a Corvette. There was a legend at my high school about somebody who was not lucky. Allegedly, this guy crashed in to a school bus full of his fellow students while he was on his driving test.

In comparison, the Driving Licence in Germany costs over $2000 and requires 25 – 45 hours of professional driving instruction and 12 hours of driving theory. The driving instruction must include autobahn, city and night driving. The questions on the test are about mechanical aspects of the car as well as regular driving theory. With everything they have to go through to get their licences it is easy to see why they value them so much.

There is also a huge difference in the vehicles you see on the road. Here in Ontario we can see some rough cars on the road. They do have to get their exhaust system checked every two years but the rest of the car only has to be checked if the ownership is changed. The police can order vehicles to be inspected but you generally only see this happen in extreme situations.

In Germany you rarely see a car that is not in pristine condition. Part of this is due to the German pride, they really believe in doing things right if you are going to do them. They are also required to put their cars through a rigorous inspection every two years. It is notoriously tough. Cars can fail for having a broken light or even a dent in the wrong spot.

The German roads are also in great shape. They are planed with speed in mind and are well maintained. Here in Ontario they regularly run competitions to find the worst potholes in the province. There is a lot of competition. Some of them are inconvenient. Some of them are suspension killers. Many of them sneak up on you. There is nothing quite like that feeling when your tire drops ½ way to Australia when you are not expecting it.

A very pretty stretch of autobahn

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/16/world/europe/16autobahn.html?_r=1

Again this is a little easier for our German friends. Here in Ottawa we have a temperature range that runs from 40 above to 40 below Celsius. That can take quite a toll on anything. Then you have to factor in the damage done by snow plows and tons of salt. We could have perfectly maintained roads but we really wouldn’t like the taxes we would have to pay for it.

If we wanted to move to a system like they have in Germany here it would take a lot of time to transition. If they just flipped the switch and let us rocket down they highways as fast as we want, the roads would be filled with carnage and emergency vehicles. Just imagine all the rusty 1995 Cameros , all the fast and furious Honda Civics and all the soccer moms in their mini-vans running late for something. Now imagine them all fighting for fast lane supremacy. You also know that there would be some fool in the passing lane going exactly 100 km/h to slow down those crazy drivers.

Sorry, the mullet got in my eyes

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.car-accidents.com/2006-Auto-pics/12-28-06-camaro-crash.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.car-accidents.com/2006-Auto-story/12-28-06-camaro-crash.htm&usg=__JfBQW55-T_8QRumZriuS97Z17YU=&h=224&w=451&sz=39&hl=en&start=4&itbs=1&tbnid=62HoyEJRdKc0XM:&tbnh=63&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcamaro%2Bwreck,%2Bfunny%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1

At one point in Montana the daytime speed limit was “whatever is safe and reasonable”. This allowed the police some latitude. If they felt that somebody was driving too fast for the driver’s experience, the driver’s car or the road condition they could issue a ticket. Some felt this was unfair but it allowed the police to keep the highway from turning in to a scene from Mad Max. The federal government in the states put an end to this when they threatened to withdraw highway funding from any state that did not keep a tight rein on their speed limits.

Will we ever see autobahn style regulations in Canada? It isn’t likely. Before we saw anything like this there would have to be fundamental changes in how we as a society view driving and how we regulate what vehicles can be on the road. There is not much social pressure to move in this direction. There is a push towards more regulation, more arbitrary speed limits and more cameras. This allows the do-gooders to feel like they are saving the world and it increases revenues coming from speeding tickets. It also allows the car insurance companies to charge more. There are a lot of economic incentives to keep things as they are. More’s the pity

Paris

Paris is one of the most amazing cities on earth. History and the 21rst century clash head on. Tiny alleyways branch off of four lane roads. Cobblestones become concrete. Roads change in to pedestrian malls with bollards that rise from the street. It can be very challenging for a North American boy to navigate but I have a few tips.

I generally have a good sense of direction. I get my bearings and I am good. That works well in North America where most of our major urban streets run in a grid iron pattern.

If you can get lost here you may consider having a GPS implanted in your body.

www.lonelyplanet.com/.../canada/calgary/

Paris, like a lot of European cities, is set up more like a spider web. Roads radiate out from the centre and are connected by a series of rings. It is a very efficient method if you know the city well. I used GPS and I wouldn’t go through Europe without it. Everybody should keep in mind that GPS is a serving suggestion. Never ever ever blindly follow GPS instructions. The GPS in my rental car tried to send me the wrong way down one way streets. It is not the machine’s fault. Things change and they do their best to keep the machines up to date but there is no replacement for common sense. I liked that my passengers could sit back and enjoy the ride. Nobody was buried in a map trying to locate the street signs that the Parisians are adept at hiding. The GPS unit did seem to get a bit upset when I missed a turn but it never failed to send me the right direction eventually.

Welcome to Paris

www.classiccitybrew.com/paris.html

I knew that motorcycles and scooters were much more popular in Europe that in North America but I was not prepared for the volume and aggressiveness of the drivers. In North America we generally assume that if we are on the sidewalk we are safe. You cannot make the same assumption in Paris. The scooters race around like swarms of angry chainsaws. They go in every direction. They go on any flat surface they can find. About the only time you can let your guard down is inside and even then I was keeping an eye open. On the road they will also sneak up in between lanes of traffic. This can be more than a little disconcerting. They will come out from any direction at any time, usually when you are busy looking for a street sign or landmark.

A swarm of scooters waiting to hunt.

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/photos/races10/tdf10/tdf10paris-scooters.jpg&imgrefurl=http://pezcyclingnews.com/%3Fpg%3Dfullstory%26id%3D7617%26status%3DTrue&usg=__d7NhZ63qiGkdWywDIxqiOJs2S2E=&h=349&w=465&sz=55&hl=en&start=3&itbs=1&tbnid=cjOXmu1abPRlBM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dscooters%2Bparis%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1


If you are renting a car you may want to familiarize yourself with their vehicles. Most of the cars over there are diesel. This gives you great fuel economy but you will see a drop in performance. Most of the vehicles over there have manual transmissions. If you need and automatic triple confirm it with your rental company and bring the confirmation e-mail. They will still not have the right car for you but it will make it easier and more satisfying when you argue with the person at the counter.

All over Europe they use roundabouts but in each country they are a little different. The German ones are very straight forward, efficient and easy to use. The ones in England go the wrong way around but they do everything on the wrong side. The roundabouts in Paris are an insane dance. First, they are about 6 lanes wide without any lane markers. You dive in head first. If you hesitate you are likely to get hit from behind. Now you are in the flow, it is you and every sort of vehicle you have ever imagined. Bikes, pedestrians and tour busses jockey for position with cars, trucks and scooters. Some of the roundabouts have crosswalks in the middle of them. Many of the roundabouts have six or more exits. So while you are trying to keep an eye on the scooter that has created a new lane in the six inches between you and that tanker truck, you are also trying to look for a street name. It is a bit of a rush.

Roundabout at L’Arc de Triomphe (a close up but a good shot to show what I am talking about)

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://lh4.google.ca/abramsv/R9WRs6tLeuI/AAAAAAAALOA/c9EBNLvzt4k/s640/40337-crazy-traffic-at-arc-de-triomphe-paris-france.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/03/worlds-worst-intersections-traffic-jams.html&usg=___nnoif1wKaQhGYRKzTC3sNK5qQQ=&h=375&w=500&sz=66&hl=en&start=16&itbs=1&tbnid=hffs_BTf5rmabM:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dparis%2Broundabout%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1


I rented a car because we were doing some traveling around Europe. If we were staying in the city I wouldn’t have bothered. Paris has a comprehensive and easy to figure out transit system. The subway system connects with the train system. The train system will take you to anything you may want to see. You do need to make yourself street savvy. I had never had anybody pick my pocket before. It happened twice in Paris. Fortunately, I had done my homework. I kept my wallet in a zipped pocket in my jacket and kept an empty wallet in my back pocket. The people to watch for are easy to see if you know what to look for. We were able to kill an hour wait in the train station by turning it in to a game of spot the bad guys.

Try not to look like a tourist. Don’t pull out a wad of bills in public. Be extra vigilant when you are checking your map. Be protective of your personal space. If anything is sketchy get away from it. On top of catching two hands in my pocket we had somebody try to sell us bogus Eifel Tower tickets, somebody try to run the “found ring” scam and the “deaf card” scam we also ran the gauntlet of interesting people at the exit of many of the tourist sites.

This is not to say that Paris is any more dangerous than any other tourist area. One just has to play with their head up. If something doesn’t feel right get out. Unfortunately, any place that attracts tourists will attract the criminal element as well. Fortunately, in Paris most of them are easy enough to spot if you know what to look for.

http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/Europe/France/Ile_de_France/Paris-99080/Warnings_or_Dangers-Paris-Beggars_Aggressive_Vendors-BR-1.html


This is a good place to learn about the scams you are likely to see.


I may have got off the automotive track a bit but hey what do you want for free?

Sorry for the Delay!

New posts re coming soon about:

Suicidal Scooter Drivers in Paris

The Joy of Driving on the Autobahn

and

The Nurburgring, a little bit of heaven on earth

Chrysler

While Ford and GM have plodded along Chrysler has always swung for the fences. When it has had a hit, it has been a major hit. When it has had a miss, it has often been a head scratcher.

1934 – They produce the Chrysler Airflow, designed with the aid of a wind tunnel. It had a frame integrated in to the body work. Most cars up to this point had been built on top of their frame. In fact body on frame cars were the norm until the 80’s. It had an almost perfect 50 / 50 weight distribution, which gave it superior handling. In many ways this car was ahead of its time. It was also a huge failure. Its different looks and some questionable safety issues had people leaving the dealerships in droves.

http://www.shorey.net/Auto/American/Chrysler/1934%20Chrysler%20AirFlow%204-Door%20Black%20Frt%20Qtr.jpg

1955 – Chrysler C-300 – This 300 hp monster was one of the most powerful cars and had some of the best handling of the decade. There were just enough of them made so that they could get them in to the NASCAR race series. It was a commercial flop. It didn’t look or drive like anything of its time.

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.autobytel.com/images/2005/Chrysler/300/400/1955_Chrysler_300_exfrpass34.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.autobytel.com/content/shared/articles/templates/index.cfm/article_page_order_int/2/article_id_int/655&usg=__u9poxIj4-iz8zIM52Lrn9oW5YDU=&h=266&w=400&sz=12&hl=en&start=1&itbs=1&tbnid=iDN8PDaJZmel4M:&tbnh=82&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchrysler%2B300,%2B1955%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1

Muscle Cars and MOPAR - Chrysler built some of the biggest and baddest muscle cars of the era. Big engines and aggressive styling had customers lined up around the block. This was cut short by a combination of the oil crisis, skyrocketing insurance rates and pollution restrictions. Chrysler did not really have anything else to fall back on.

                                             The spoiler is actually functional.
http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://sosilly.free.fr/wp-content/2009/03/1970superbird.jpg&imgrefurl=http://sosilly.free.fr/%3Fp%3D1632&usg=__v_2ZpNbufPyvg2gRbXNYRZbY-VE=&h=626&w=768&sz=104&hl=en&start=18&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=xZkwOBySLWXFVM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=142&prev=/images%3Fq%3DSUPERBIRD%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1


K-car - Chrysler was on the brink of bankruptcy when they caught a break. They hired Lee Iacocca. His vision of a simple, straight forward platform modified to fit many needs, saved the company. Nobody would ever argue that the K-cars were sexy or fun. What they were was good value for money. Off of this simple platform they made: a convertible, a coupe, a sedan, a station wagon, a mini-van and a luxury limo. He used the same tried and true method that worked for the model T Ford, VW Beetle and the Austin Mini. Make them simple, reliable and cheap. This saved the company.

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/6/15/633806563447199640-Kcars.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.motivatedphotos.com/%3Fid%3D24308&usg=__FWfdQR2ITAutVItCMS6aMfmdXhM=&h=600&w=800&sz=65&hl=en&start=5&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=JY-Q8YBxLykbJM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3DK%2BCARS%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1

Chrysler TC by Maserati - Some ideas are great on paper but fall flat in reality. This idea didn’t even look good on paper. It was supposed to be a sports car built by a forgotten Italian super car maker and a min-van maker. It was basically a tarted up version of the Chrysler LeBarron Coupe for twice the price. Very few people bit, even fewer were happy with it.

                                                            Chrysler TC by Maserati

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.carfolio.com/images/dbimages/zgas/models/id/366/198x_tc.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.carfolio.com/specifications/models/car/%3Fcar%3D4026&usg=__TUCp2Ldm3Iu6DwYnuE8wLKPOPl4=&h=222&w=300&sz=27&hl=en&start=11&itbs=1&tbnid=3PU2JiisGDLbTM:&tbnh=86&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchrysler%2Btc%2Bby%2Bmaserati%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1

                                                                Chrysler LeBarron

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.murrayco.com/Car_Collection/chrys94_convert.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.murrayco.com/Car_Collection/1994_chrysler_lebaron_convert.html&usg=__gQllD4UEUZHD7ncHiZKOqwfGtis=&h=356&w=800&sz=376&hl=en&start=22&itbs=1&tbnid=J0FJaX2737DNIM:&tbnh=64&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchrysler%2BLE%2BBARON%26start%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1


Does one of these look like it is twice the value of the other one?



In 1998 Chrysler was purchased by Mercedes-Benz. This held a lot of promise. By this time Chrysler was making interesting looking vehicles with questionable reliability and Mercedes-Benz was known for their German precision. This seemed like a match made in heaven. Benz would get some more access to the American market while Chrysler would get capital and some of that German quality. It ended up being a bit of a dog’s breakfast. I think there must have been some interesting board meetings. Mercedes ended up with the disastrous M class, under powered, over complicated and unlike anything else in their line. Chrysler got the Crossfire: take a Mercedes C class coupe and somehow make it uglier and less useful. A better name would have been the Misfire. To those of you who are as geeky as I, yes I know the Crossfire gets its platform from the Mercedes SLK , but the SLK R170 platform is based on the W202 C class.

                                                          Mercedes Benz ML 320
             honestly, it is baaaad. If somebody offers you one for free punch them hard and run away

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.annunciautousate.it/foto-auto/MERCEDES-BENZ_ML%2520270_Grosseto_1_479364b.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.ooyyo.com/en/used-cars/mercedes%2520benz-ml%2520class&usg=__dGI1Rnv3E5kyEX7cnJdfyfSGSlg=&h=450&w=600&sz=29&hl=en&start=38&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=Q8hw2vD46RUr_M:&tbnh=101&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3D2003%2Bmercedes%2Bbenz%2Bm%2Bclass%26start%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1

                                                                   Chrysler Crossfire

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-abc/Chrysler-Crossfire-Reflection-1024x768.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.seriouswheels.com/abc/Chrysler-Crossfire-Reflection-1024x768.htm&usg=__7nOhaQj2v0aWtd9N7nkAiXGkq8I=&h=768&w=1024&sz=146&hl=en&start=5&itbs=1&tbnid=eiZy3qiOLhuPbM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchrysler%2Bcrossfire%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1

Mercedes and Chrysler eventually woke up, rolled over, looked at each other and crept away swearing that they were never going to drink again.


This brings us to today and yet another crossroads for Chrysler.

Chrysler has a reputation for innovative design and poor quality. Fiat has not sold cars in North America since 1984. The reputation that they left behind was one of beautiful cars that you spent more time fixing than driving (The old joke was FIAT stood for Failure In Automotive Technology) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fiat
 It doesn’t really matter if these reputations are deserved or not. This is the way that the general public will view these manufacturers until they are proven wrong. That could take years.

There have been some announcements that give me hope. Chrysler has announced that they will be tightening their line up. This is great news. There is some weeding that needs to be done.

There have been conflicting reports of the cancelation of the PT Cruiser. I am hoping it is gone. It is built on the old Neon platform, which was bad to start with. The design was interesting but it made too many concessions to style over practicality. It has also long outlived its quirky image.

The Sebring needs to be put out of everybody’s misery. It is that rental car that makes your shoulders slump. It is boring, bland and all together nasty. It amazes me that they have made a convertible version. It just cannot stand up to the competition.

Their truck division seems to be doing just fine, leave it alone. Jeep is doing ok for the most part. There are a few too many models at the low end of the price spectrum (yes I am looking at you Jeep Compass and Jeep Patriot) but there line up can be fixed with minor tweaking and tuning.

There has already been an announcement that the Fiat 500 should be on sale at Chrysler dealerships by the end of the year. This is a great idea but it could pose some interesting problems

This car is reminiscent of the VW New Beetle and the BMW MINI. All three are modern interpretations of much loved peoples’ cars but the Fiat is a little different. The Beetle and the MINI rank among some of the most produced and most influential cars ever built. The Fiat 500 has some diehard fans, including Jerry Seinfeld and Michael Schumacher, but it is not nearly as well known.

The new Fiat 500 was originally launched in 2007. It will be making it to showrooms in North America in 2010. The 500 will not be able to benefit from a worldwide groundswell of interest as the other cars did.

The executives have a couple of very difficult decisions to make:

Do they produce the 500 on the Ford KA platform, that they have been using in Europe or do they look for technology from Chrysler`s inventory? Each of these comes with its own perils. If they stick with the tried and true Ford platform they are promoting the competition and the dealerships will have to stock a whack load of new parts. The alternative is to use parts already in Chrysler’s inventory. My biggest fear for them is that they dust of the remnants of the Neon (the incredible self destructing car) and bolt the 500’s body to it. This would not be the dumbest thing they have done, that would be the Prowler

How are they going to price this car? In Europe this car is priced at fifteen thousand pounds equipped the way that it may sell here. That translates to $23 000 in Canada. It is going to be hard to have a small car in the Chrysler showrooms that is priced ten thousand more than similarly sized cars in their inventory. People are used to going to a domestic dealership, getting a big discount, a rebate and a ridiculously low interest rate. How do you now tell people that you can have those things on every car in the place except that one over there?

My biggest fear is that some genius in the big pentastar office is going to look at this thing and figures that because the car is small it should be priced that $ 10,000. They can put the car out for that price but they would have to raid the Chrysler parts bin and drop quality. Choosing this direction will alienate the people who are drawn to the Fiat 500 as it is in other markets.

It is quite a dilemma. It would keep me up nights if I had to make these decisions. Fortunately for me I can just sit back and play armchair quarterback.

Things every driver should know

There has been a lot of talk in the news recently of the Toyota recalls. There has been something lost in all the discussion of floor mats and blame. There has been very little said of the driver’s responsibility.


This is not about pointing fingers but there are a few things that are vital for every driver to know:



1. If your vehicle is accelerating out of control you need to keep calm. After you have verified that the brakes are not helping it is time to stop the power from getting to the wheels. If it has a manual transmission push in the clutch. If this does not work grab the shifter and pull it out of gear. If it is an automatic transmission push the shifter in to neutral. All regular automatic transmissions will go in to neutral if they are pushed forward, as long as you don’t push the button on the shifter it will not go in to reverse. If all of this fails, turn the engine off. If you turn the key to the “electrics on” instead of all the way off the steering lock will not engage.



2. Know where your spare tire is. Know how all the tools work. Most important thing is to know where to place the jack under the car. Doing this wrong can crush the quarter panel or even more funny the jack can go through the floor.



3. Know where empty is on your gas tank. It is surprising how this can throw people off. American cars tend to have a big reserve when the gauge reads empty. Compare this to Volkswagen, when the low fuel light comes on you has exactly 5 litres of fuel and when the fuel gauge reads empty it is empty. You have to like their straight forward reasoning. What is the point of having a gauge if you are not going to have it accurate?



4. Know if your vehicle is front wheel drive, rear wheel drive or all-wheel drive.



5. Do you have ABS? This is important to know because it will change your reaction under hard braking. Without ABS you will have to pump your brakes to keep them from locking up. If you do that in a car with ABS your braking distance will increase. Not what you want to do if you are in a panic stop. You should also feel what the ABS feels like when it is activated. It feels a little different in each make. It can be quite startling. The first time I experienced ABS, in a rented Chevy Cavalier, it made such a racket that I was sure I had run over a trash can. I literally got out and looked under the car. This is not a distraction you need in an emergency.



6. What side is your fuel filler cap on? Knowing this will make your life much easier at a busy gas pump and save you from looking like Chevy Chase in Vacation.



7. Know how to jump start a car. This is one of those things that can be very useful to know and very dangerous if done wrong. There are lots of places to find detailed instructions, but here is the quick version: Positive to positive, negative to ground, NEVER let the cables touch each other until all the crocodile clips are disconnected. NEVER rest the clips on the car, you may complete the circuit. Leave the car that you are getting the boost from running.



8. Where is your owner’s manual? It is a fantastic source of information. It is worth spending an afternoon reading it. It won’t be the most entertaining thing you have ever read, but you will learn so much. It is well worth the investment of time.



It amazes me how lightly people take the concept of driving. You are in control of two tonnes of glass and steel. Hitting a curb hard can destroy a tire. Hitting the guard rail can destroy a fender. Hitting a person can destroy a life.

Top Gear America

As you may have seen earlier in my blog I am a big fan of the TV show Top Gear. For those of you who are not familiar, it is a TV show, magazine and a website (http://www.topgear.com/uk/ ). Last year NBC had planned to do an American version. This went sideways with the economic downturn and the failure of Knight Rider. Now there are reports that the History Channel has picked it up for 12 episodes. This idea has me very excited and very worried.

Of course I would like to see top gear produced on this side of the pond. There would be more coverage of cars and situations that are applicable to my life, more in jokes that I can catch and more guests that I recognise.

This would not be the first time that a TV show has been re-done for a North American audience. There have been some great successes; The Office, All in the Family (Till Death do us Part U.K.) and Three’s Company (Man About the House U.K.) and some great failures; Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers (Chateau Snavely U.S., Amanda’s U.S. and Payne U.S.) and Coupling.

My fears:

What I am really worried about is somebody doing a bargain basement version of my favourite show. You can make a relatively cheap car show. I have seen many of them. You get a couple of hosts, it is helpful but not required that they know something about cars. It is more important that they can read a teleprompter. Your set needs; a couple of chairs, you can steal them out of the production office, a sign with the shows name on it, this can be done by any 2nd year graphic design student for a line on their resume and a case of beer, and some random car bits borrowed from your local scrap yard. Some shows haven’t even bothered with a set, saving even more money.

I am sure that the people who work on these shows are good, hard working folks but their goal seems to be filling a ½ hour of TV as cheaply as possible. They know that as long as they are relatively positive about every car they look at, the car companies will be more than happy to drop off vehicles for them to look at. It won’t be the big, expensive and cool stuff but that doesn’t matter. The 5 minute “news” segment will be easily filled by somebody reading from the stack of press releases sent over by the manufacturers. It is the same formula they use on the entertainment news shows, just substitute actor for car and add in Ben Mulroney if you happen to be in Canada.

What it will look like if they do it right:

First thing they will need is a cinematographer. There is a lot of artistry that goes in to the Top Gear shoots. It is done so well it makes other car shows look like that wedding video shot by your weird uncle with the tremors.

They also need to choose their hosts very carefully. Ideally they would be entertaining and have some opinions on cars. There are a few names that have come up repeatedly around this. Jay Leno is often mentioned. He does know a lot about cars and he does own his own automotive museum but I don’t think this is the right gig for him. His personality and celebrity would turn it in to “Jay Leno’s Top Gear”. I know Adam Carolla has a car podcast and that his name often comes up in connection with this project. He seems to know his stuff and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of giving his opinion. Christopher Titus would be another good host. He loves cars and is outspoken. If they need a third host, yes I would be interested ;) Yes I know that I am just one of a million Top Gear fans who would want the job but ..... i said it first. Mind you, if they really need a Canadian host Jim Kenzie is both qualified and funny. http://jimkenzie.com/

In the original show they do a segment called ‘star in a reasonably priced car’. It is exactly what it sounds like. They drop these people in a cheap car and send them around the track and time their laps. They throw in a short interview as well that usually involves Jeremy Clarkson teasing them about the cars they have owned. In North America I am sure the agents and lawyer s would have coronaries thinking about their clients whipping around a track. Jay Leno tried to bring a version of this to his ill fated 10 pm show. By the time his ‘star in a car’ segment made it to air they were driving a hybrid car around a parking lot past cardboard cutouts.

This is exactly what I am afraid will happen to the whole show. They will suck all the joy out of it. They will run it through focus groups and make sure nobody’s feelings are getting hurt and it will be Top Gear in name only. I really like the original show. It is fun and silly. If they think a car is a piece of junk they will say so. On time they hated a car so badly, they bought one, drove it off the lot and destroyed it with a sledge hammer. It is a show where they celebrate guys being guys and they manage to do it without objectifying women.

To sum up, this is a plea to whoever has any pull with anybody who has pull with the producers of Top Gear USA (if they ever manage to get their stuff together and get it made), please please please for the love of God please don’t screw up my favorite show. I promise, if you do this right not everybody will like it, but those who do will be fiercely loyal fans.