Sunday, March 21, 2010

Top Gear America

As you may have seen earlier in my blog I am a big fan of the TV show Top Gear. For those of you who are not familiar, it is a TV show, magazine and a website (http://www.topgear.com/uk/ ). Last year NBC had planned to do an American version. This went sideways with the economic downturn and the failure of Knight Rider. Now there are reports that the History Channel has picked it up for 12 episodes. This idea has me very excited and very worried.

Of course I would like to see top gear produced on this side of the pond. There would be more coverage of cars and situations that are applicable to my life, more in jokes that I can catch and more guests that I recognise.

This would not be the first time that a TV show has been re-done for a North American audience. There have been some great successes; The Office, All in the Family (Till Death do us Part U.K.) and Three’s Company (Man About the House U.K.) and some great failures; Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers (Chateau Snavely U.S., Amanda’s U.S. and Payne U.S.) and Coupling.

My fears:

What I am really worried about is somebody doing a bargain basement version of my favourite show. You can make a relatively cheap car show. I have seen many of them. You get a couple of hosts, it is helpful but not required that they know something about cars. It is more important that they can read a teleprompter. Your set needs; a couple of chairs, you can steal them out of the production office, a sign with the shows name on it, this can be done by any 2nd year graphic design student for a line on their resume and a case of beer, and some random car bits borrowed from your local scrap yard. Some shows haven’t even bothered with a set, saving even more money.

I am sure that the people who work on these shows are good, hard working folks but their goal seems to be filling a ½ hour of TV as cheaply as possible. They know that as long as they are relatively positive about every car they look at, the car companies will be more than happy to drop off vehicles for them to look at. It won’t be the big, expensive and cool stuff but that doesn’t matter. The 5 minute “news” segment will be easily filled by somebody reading from the stack of press releases sent over by the manufacturers. It is the same formula they use on the entertainment news shows, just substitute actor for car and add in Ben Mulroney if you happen to be in Canada.

What it will look like if they do it right:

First thing they will need is a cinematographer. There is a lot of artistry that goes in to the Top Gear shoots. It is done so well it makes other car shows look like that wedding video shot by your weird uncle with the tremors.

They also need to choose their hosts very carefully. Ideally they would be entertaining and have some opinions on cars. There are a few names that have come up repeatedly around this. Jay Leno is often mentioned. He does know a lot about cars and he does own his own automotive museum but I don’t think this is the right gig for him. His personality and celebrity would turn it in to “Jay Leno’s Top Gear”. I know Adam Carolla has a car podcast and that his name often comes up in connection with this project. He seems to know his stuff and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of giving his opinion. Christopher Titus would be another good host. He loves cars and is outspoken. If they need a third host, yes I would be interested ;) Yes I know that I am just one of a million Top Gear fans who would want the job but ..... i said it first. Mind you, if they really need a Canadian host Jim Kenzie is both qualified and funny. http://jimkenzie.com/

In the original show they do a segment called ‘star in a reasonably priced car’. It is exactly what it sounds like. They drop these people in a cheap car and send them around the track and time their laps. They throw in a short interview as well that usually involves Jeremy Clarkson teasing them about the cars they have owned. In North America I am sure the agents and lawyer s would have coronaries thinking about their clients whipping around a track. Jay Leno tried to bring a version of this to his ill fated 10 pm show. By the time his ‘star in a car’ segment made it to air they were driving a hybrid car around a parking lot past cardboard cutouts.

This is exactly what I am afraid will happen to the whole show. They will suck all the joy out of it. They will run it through focus groups and make sure nobody’s feelings are getting hurt and it will be Top Gear in name only. I really like the original show. It is fun and silly. If they think a car is a piece of junk they will say so. On time they hated a car so badly, they bought one, drove it off the lot and destroyed it with a sledge hammer. It is a show where they celebrate guys being guys and they manage to do it without objectifying women.

To sum up, this is a plea to whoever has any pull with anybody who has pull with the producers of Top Gear USA (if they ever manage to get their stuff together and get it made), please please please for the love of God please don’t screw up my favorite show. I promise, if you do this right not everybody will like it, but those who do will be fiercely loyal fans.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Hybrids do not cure cancer

When we are kids we are all taught to be good, be nice and listen to our elders. It is all so straight forward. Then as we get older we learn to question authority and think for ourselves. It gets more complicated. There are multiple sides on every issue. Every position has some merit. It takes time, effort and reflection to come to a position that is right for you.


I get worried when people take a position and there rationale is “ just because” , “isn’t it obvious to you” or my very favourite “if you are questioning me you must be against me ..... and for electrocuting baby bunnies”.

Why would you want to hurt me?

Picture from: http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://akosut.com/log/img/FLUFFY%2520BABY%2520BUNNY.jpg&imgrefurl=http://oygirl.wordpress.com/2009/06/&usg=__rhg2cfFZNzJJDweEhk0kFXez_7o=&h=309&w=404&sz=88&hl=en&start=1&itbs=1&tbnid=LYKjt5Rzj5eU0M:&tbnh=95&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbaby%2Bbunnies%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1

This is where I get nervous on the whole electric / hybrid car push. Yes, I recognize that oil is a limited commodity. Yes, I realize that exhaust is a bad thing. I also realize that there are a lot of questions around these vehicles that have not been answered and I realize that just because I am asking them I am worse than a pedophilic , Hitler loving mouthpiece for the big oil industrial complex. But these questions must be asked.

Hybrid cars are vehicles that have both gas and electric engines. The Toyota (Lexus) hybrid vehicles can run only on the electric engine when the battery has enough charge. All of the other hybrids are primarily gas powered and offer an electric boost when needed. (The Chevy Volt is another story. I’ll write more on it later)

The up side to a hybrid is that it goes further on a litre of fuel. This is no mean feat as the car is carrying a second power system and the batteries to power it. The thing that a lot of people don’t realize is that it gets good fuel economy, not great fuel economy. The Prius is rated at 51 mpg city and 48 mpg highway. In comparison the VW Golf TDI (Diesel) gets 30 mpg city and 41 mpg highway. While the Golf gets wore fuel economy, it is also $ 5 000 cheaper. You can save a lot of trees with $ 5 000.

The other advantage to a hybrid is that unlike a totally electric car your range is limitless. Just like a regular gas powered car you just fuel up and go. There is none of this charge for 12 hours to go 100 km stuff. We North Americans particularly like the idea of being able to hit the open road at a moment’s notice and drive off in to the sunset. This is a very romantic concept and not to mention a little silly. The average North American commute is 46 minutes, well within the range of most electric cars.

Now, keep in mind that the Prius achieves this fuel economy with an extra environmental impact of the creation of the batteries that fuel the electric motor. When the hybrid vehicle has reached the end of its usable life there is the added environmental impact of the disposal of these batteries.

The hybrids are also generally tied to the dealership for servicing. Most cars on the road have 12 volts running around under the hood. If a mechanic touches the wrong wire at the wrong time they get a shock, say a few choice words that would get them kicked out of Sunday school and get on with it. Under the hood of a hybrid you have 100 to 300 volts, quite like what you have in your wall socket. Grabbing the wrong thing there means the other people in the garage are going to spend a lot of time trying to scrub a sooty smudge off the back wall.

That’s gonna leave a mark!

http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.eyeofhorus.org.uk/images/photo/10tennant/series-03/05-evolutiondaleks/pigs-elevator-electrocuted.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.eyeofhorus.org.uk/content/series-03/05-evolutionofthedaleks.html&usg=__QjtydSmKr4gJ-qWq033ZEHro94U=&h=306&w=500&sz=41&hl=en&start=10&itbs=1&tbnid=rcZq1RGn_wQosM:&tbnh=80&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Delectrocuted%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1

They can also cause some interesting problems in a traffic accident. Your average car has one twelve volt lead acid battery. Some of the big luxury cars have two so that they can keep all the gidits and gismos going. The typical hybrid has about 28 lithium batteries. This poses some interesting challenges for the firefighter trying to get you out of your wrecked hybrid. You have the issue of the electrical system, where is it safe to use the Jaws of Life? (see the bit above about mechanics being turned in to little piles of dust) There is also the question of what comes oozing out of a lithium ion battery in an accident. How dangerous is it? Yes I know that regular gas is not without inherent dangers IE: being flammable and toxic and possibly a carcinogen but these are risks that the firefighters are well aware of and have trained for.

A lot of the long term questions about the hybrids have yet to be answered. They have only been available here for about a decade and in the first few years sales were low. What is going to happen when those battery packs are out of warranty? In what new and interesting ways will the complex computer system that manages the power find to cost you money?

Now I am not saying that the hybrid car is evil. I just think that some of these ideas have not been completely thought out. The car makers are building them because people are buying them. If we as a society decided that cars should shoot confetti out the tail pipe there would be a race between the manufacturers to have the biggest and best confetti cannon. Popularity does not equal right, unless you are Barack Obama (remember do not look directly in to the Obama without proper eye protection the brilliance and awe may cause permanent damage) I believe that the consumers racing to buy every hybrid they can make are well intentioned but I don’t think they have a good vision of the options. Many of the new economy cars are getting good mileage and they do not require a new infrastructure. Diesels are a fantastic alternative that I will rave about in a later posting.

The technology that I have the most hope for is the hydrogen powered car. Hydrogen is one of the most plentiful elements in the universe and the current models produce water as an exhaust. There are hurdles with this technology as well: new infrastructure will have to be built to service it IE fuelling stations and service centres, producing hydrogen can take some effort and then there is that bad rap that hydrogen has had in the transportation world since the Hindenburg incident.

What I am saying is that new technology that is brought in to solve one problem often causes another one. Remember, the gasoline powered car was actually cleaner than the technology it replaced. IE we are not walking around with our feet covered in horse shit.